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8 Months down….roughly 2 months to
go! Whahooooooooo. I had my 32 week appointment on Monday. It was not great. Actually it was the worst appointment I’ve
been to. I went through a rollercoaster
of emotions in about an hour. From
12 weeks I have been on a pregnancy path, expecting a c-section. I was actually asked if I wanted to try a
vbac or go with a c-section again. I
honestly am afraid of a vaginal birth because of what happened with
Amelia. I was all set for a vaginal
birth with Amelia, I took classes, read books, and watch videos (not
many). I felt mentally and physically
prepared. But when it came to the big
day I ended up having a c-section. I
never really progressed. I sort of felt
like a failure, that I couldn’t do it on my own. It’s kind of haunted me. So this time I opted for a c-section again
because I don’t want to be stressed about it or feel like a failure. On my 32 week appointment I was excited
because I was told I would be scheduled for my delivery. I was
literally crying in the room. It's kind of a lot to explain and I’ve been over
it so many times these past few days. I
met with the doc and she was telling me there was no post operation report in
my records and that I should try a vaginal birth. I was freaking out because I
didn't plan for that and I don’t feel ready. I expressed to the doc that I didn’t feel
ready and that I felt like she was dropping a bomb on me. I quote “Honey, you have 2 months”!! Can you believe her nerve??? I cried
more. She suggested I go to the vbac
class and by my next appointment I can make a decision. I ended up going to records myself, and had
to talk to 3 people and finally someone found the post operation report. I took
it back up to the doc and she said after reading it, we are going to go thru
with a c-section. Oh also she "forgot" to mention that I'm anemic
again. I went through a whole bunch of emotions and I am scheduled for a c-sec
on June 11. I really don't like this hospital. I miss the hospital in Bremerton,
where I had Amelia. I just feel like I’m
not being taken care of very well. Just
another patient walking through the halls.
After have a day to think about things, I remembered when I had Amelia I
had anemia and I went through NST and blood tests weekly. The doc never mentioned anything about
that. So the next day I called and I
left a message to talk with the doc, I called about 7:45 am. I didn’t get a call back until 6:30 pm! I asked about the tests and she said it would
be a good idea. Why am I telling the doc
this, shouldn’t she have mentioned it before?? Ugh…I’m just praying for a
healthy baby and safe c-section. I just
want to not have to deal with them anymore.
Unfortunately after having the baby I’ll have to deal with them
more. All in all have a bitter taste in
my mouth for this hospital. I can’t wait
to never have to deal with them again!
As for how I’m feeling, I feel big!
Big is an understatement!! I’m
tired. I can’t wait for my husband to
come home. I need some rest! OH and I’m
currently 115 pounds! Geeze!
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